Stop Defacing Me

It was a matter of time.

Vicious animals exist in this word. Dogs. Demons. It does not matter with what name I baptize them, their actions mirror the actions of their forefathers. From the ancient sword to the modern spray can, these soulless beings wish to erase our people's existence by any means possible. To make us vanish. To rip our modernity from history pages, and eradicate our existence from the tips of tongues. Never again. Never will I, or those that have consciousness, most importantly have a soul, cease to enlighten the world about the Truth. They can continue spraying our monuments, bombing our churches, and slicing our people's throats. God will always be on our side. He sides with the Pure at heart, the righteous. We will never cease. We will pray on their behalf. The

Assyrian people are not safe in their homeland, nor are they treated with respect in democratic nations. The Truth always prevails.

First Week.

It's official.

The first week of school has come to an end. It was, great. I mean, school is school right? No one enjoys having to read bland articles. Highlighting, printing, re-reading, that thing is something one must do in an effort of maintaining grades. I mean, I'm already behind on my readings. I was pretty nervous about one particular class, but turns out it's pretty chill. The professor is cool, the classmates are pretty nice too. I mean, except for a handful. There are idiots in every class.

We played a game in my first class, last Thursday. [By the way, going to school twice a week is heavenly.] If someone would have told me I would be playing a game in a college class [400 level, mind you] in high school, I would not believe them. Anyway, we played a game which I forgot the name of. I recall telling myself to remember the name of the game for future reference [fail]. The main point of the game was to mimic the capitalist/free market system by trying to acquire as many poker chips as possible. I ended up collecting a fair amount [we had to make deals with classmates]. At the end of the game, looking back, I was pretty greedy. I mean, I knew I liked money, but I really wanted to acquire as many chips as possible. There was even a point where my classmates were deciding who to give the bonus poker chip to, and it came down to me and a girl [who was holding the chip]. The class said I should get the chip since I had 1 point more than she did, so she asked me if I would take the chip from her, almost begging me to let the chip be. I instantly said yes and grabbed the chip from her and dropped it in my cup.

Wait.

Did I just snatch the chip from her hand?

Yes.

I did!

Wow.

Unfortunately, the game brought out the "darker" side of me. I mean, c'mon, I wanted to win [by being part of the upper class]! Turns out, not everyone was as "evil" as I was during the game. I ran into people who had low numbers of chips but still wished to help others to the top. That, was cool. I mean, it was a game after all, but still. They weren't into advancing themselves, but wanted to aid...me move up the ladder. I just thought that was really thoughtful. There are nice people out there.

You just have to search for them.

Family bbq tomorrow. Hope the weather's great. Hope it will be fun. It's super hot at the moment. I have to cut my hair. It's a hot mess. I repeatidly keep listening to Armin van Buuren's "In and Out of Love" and "Heartbeat" by Enrique featuring Nicole. Strange. Both song have to do with love. Hah. Anyways, I'm out for now.

Peace in the middle east.

Life.

Decision making frankly sucks. I hate having to chose one thing over the other. Can't I just have it all? Does that mean I'm greedy? I don't know. Maybe it means I can't make a choice. That I'm unable to say something is white when it's white, and not claim that it's gray. Usually I do make choices about petty, unimportant questions. Such as, what to wear, what to eat. that sorta thing. But the life altering, life impacting questions are what I dread the most. If it was up to me, I'd chose one thing and go with the flow. The problem arises when I take into the interests and concerns of others. That is what leads me to doubly question everything. It's just so, difficult. I wish God could just tell me what decision to make and reassure me that I'm right. If that was the case, there would be no failures, no losers, no hatred, no nothing. Life, I suppose, would be utterly boring. Also, people would give up the second-time around and just do, nothing. Apathetic world views would emerge. OK, maybe I'm thinking about this way too much. But it's my future! I have time to make this decision that is on my mind, but have so much to think about and actually do.

This sucks.

God, help.

Summer.

Hot.

Pretty much sums up what's on my mind right now.

It's a feeling I will truly miss once winter unexpectedly arrives.

Sweaty palms, sweat sliding down one's neck and onto one's back. Shivers felt due to the warmth. I love all summer symptoms.

I ate ice cream twice today. An unprecedented event. I feel like a fatass. I mean, my sis and I went downtown to run a few school errands and then we ended up going to get Italian ice. It was definitely good, but eating it fast led to subsequent brain freezes. Not fun. On our way home we stopped by Dairy Queen. Yes, we ate even more ice cream. It was heaven. I feel full.

Downtown.

It's 9.14 am. I've been up since about 6.50. I dropped mom off at work, and told myself I wouldn't go back to sleep since I wanted to get a couple things done. I still have novels to read, for my leisure, errands to run and other fun stuff. I also have an obscure article to read for one of my classes which was assigned two weeks before classes start, I'll have to get to that soon enough.

I keep thinking about how people just love to talk and share gossip. I think gossiping/talking about others is considered a sin, yet people don't care and continue to do it anyway! It may be because one has nothing better to do other than bitch and complain about other people, which is pretty sad.

Anyway, I actually took some pictures this last weekend, when I was out exploring downtown with my sister and then my cousins and aunt. I need to do more exploring, it's honestly sad that I knew how to get in and out of London and cannot say the same about my own city, sweet Chicago! How sad. Peace.

The Return.

I'm back.

It's true. I mean, this will be my third attempt at sustaining a blog. The first, was originally this. I somehow came across it once again. The second blog was a Wordpress blog I recently made private, only for my eyes to see. I think the personal aspect of its contents led me to bury it inside myself, essentially. Anyway, I've returned to hopefully keep this blog for good. We will see.

I woke up about three times today, throughout the night. I think it was because of my dreams. I've been having successive dreams, like, one after the other--different stories, different locations and different people. It's so strange. I usually have one dream for a long while and that's it. Recently, it's been a plethora of dreams. I have no idea what's going on in my head *reference to blog title*. What I do know is that I need to get myself back to a somewhat stabilized sleeping pattern so that I can try to wake up well-refreshed for school. Yes, school is 10 days and 22 hours away according to my countdown. I'm excited since I want school to end and for me to get my degree. And then again I don't want to have to commute by train in the dead of winter to a university I'm apathetic towards. Also, I don't want to have to make life important life decisions I've been putting off. Hate that. All in all, I just want it to be over.